I should have known when he asked me out on a date to Senior Discount Day at The Golden Corral. I had seen this guy before and he wanted to take me out for an early dinner. You know when they want to eat early, it has something to do with a discount. I agreed and immediately regretted it. I pulled into the parking lot of the Golden Corral for really maybe the second time in my life. I remembered bringing my kids here when they were little. I never returned. Until today!
He had texted that he was waiting inside. I moved my way through the throngs of Seniors in the dining room. This really did resemble the old folks homes I had visited with my church group at Christmas time. But, there was a lot of food and everyone seemed cheery enough, so I forged on. I spotted him in a booth in the back. He rose to his feet upon seeing me. We exchanged niceties and I put my purse down and took a seat. He ordered drinks and then he showed me the way to the buffet. He seemed to know the lay of the land, so I felt at ease with his expertise. I grabbed a plate and started to make my choices. I noticed that he was leaning towards the meat exclusively. He piled on chicken, hamburgers, bacon, sausage and other sundry protein. We headed back to the table and I couldn’t help but wonder why he had an abnormal amount of meat on his plate. He saw me side eyeing his plate and he made a comment about how he was doing Keto. I shrugged it off and made my way to our booth. As I walked I couldn’t help but notice more than one man staring at me. Each one looking me up and down as I walked by. When you’re 55 the 80 year olds think you’re really something!
We sat down and started to eat and make small talk. He dove into that plate of meat like he hadn’t eaten for a week. Using his hands, not a fork and knife. I was taken aback, but watched with interest and a slight bit of horror. Then, he reached into his backpack and pulled out a gallon size plastic bag. He opened it and started packing the meat into the bag. While he was doing so, he told me about his 4th wife and why that hadn’t worked out. The urge to run started to well up in my chest. I decided that I couldn’t resist the urge to ask, what in the actual hell he was doing. So, instead of asking him in that way. I said, Do you have a dog? He said, oh no. I come here once a week to stock up on food for the week. I was stunned. What? Not sure if I said that out loud or just thought it. I asked, you take all this home? Oh yeah! He said, this will last me a week! Then, as if the midlife dating God’s took pity on me, my phone rang. It was my son and he was locked out of the house. I quickly explained I had to go. He argued that I should first finish my food. I assured him that I was satisfied and really had to go. I sensed his disappointment. At this point I could have cared less and headed for the door in a brisk walk. I wanted to look back to make sure he wasn’t following, but didn’t. I left this man at the table with grease all over his hands and the ziplock still gripped between his fingers, chewing a piece of bacon. He waved and said he would call me. I made a mental note to block his number as soon as I got to the car. I sat down in my car, locked the doors, turned the key and started to laugh and laugh and laugh. I thought to myself, I’m gonna write about this one day!