Recently, I discovered the song Celebrate Me by IngaRose. I love the lyrics so much! It’s such an empowering song! I’ll try to link it at the bottom. I did a Reel/Tiktok dancing to it. I thought for the briefest of moments how ridiculous I look doing that. Then, just as quickly, I felt a surge of rebellion come over me.
All my life, I’ve felt small. Never felt as good as others. Like I needed to tread lightly, not bother anyone, or put anyone out. To shrink instead of stand tall. This was because of things I experienced growing up. I felt I needed to measure up to be validated.
So I tried to be all that I was expected to be. I got married, had kids and was a stay-at-home mom. Even though I didn’t have much support, I tried my best to be a good wife and mother.
When my life fell apart, I questioned everything. How could I be so blind? How could I not see what had been happening? I think I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what.
Like the rumbling under the ground right before an earthquake. Like that soft roar you hear before the ground starts to shake. You desperately look all around, trying to figure out what’s coming and from which direction.
When the earthquake started in earnest, I was shocked and completely shattered by the magnitude of it. The aftermath would be the pieces of myself that were scattered everywhere. The aftershocks would sometimes be as bad as the original quake. They went on and on.
I was in shock and broken. Broken in a way that so many heartbreaking things that had happened before in my life had not done. The breakup of my 30-year marriage took the last of my hope and resilience. At least for a time, anyway.
Eventually, and not easily, I pulled myself to a place of confidence, love for myself, success, and happiness. This is a lifelong process. We are never done, but we can do this! If we help each other, we can do anything!
Comment below if you are going through or have gone through something similar.
